Summer Lackluster

Dear Movies,
Not a lot happening between the release of Prometheus and Dark Night Rises huh?

James

So Alone, SO ALONE!

Dear Movies,
My darling love, I have always...OH NO! Promotheus.

James

I Like To Move It, Move It

Dear Moving,
More with the cute girls starting to live on my block.  Oh shit, wait, wrong blog.  Shit, ummm...Dear Movies, more movies about cute girls moving to my block?

James

Battleship: The Movie: The Game

Dear Movies,
Yo dawg, I heard you like board game movies.  So we made a board game of a movie of a board game.

James

I Dream Of Queen Frostine

Dear Movies,
If you're gonna start making movies out of boardgames like Battleship, then might I suggest getting the Wachowski brothers and their graphics people from Speed Racer to make a live action acid trip Candyland film?  Wikipedia calls Candyland a "simple racing board game".  See?  Perfect.  Done and done,

James

Dude. Sweet.

Dear Movies,
Dude, where's my sequel?

James

Cabin By The Lake

Dear Movies,
Cabin In The Woods? More like Metta World Peace.

James

Pee Ew

Dear Movies,
This one looks like shit. Luckily the trailer told me not to go see it. Thanks for the heads up!

James

Y So Serious?

Dear Movies,
Use this equation to maximize box office success. Youre welcome,

James

Down And Out In Beverly's Hills

Dear Movies,
I cant wait to be inside you this week.

James

Jeff Goldbrarfarmahha

Dear Movies,
You always know what words to say to make me happy.

James

Movie Bien

Dear Movies,
Im feeling good today. Ok, that's all, see ya!

James

RIP Jackie Treehorn

Dear James,
People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.

Sincerely, Movies



Dear Movies,
On you maybe.

James

Holy Cowabunga!

Dear Movies,
WHAT THE FUCK!? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!? If I had seen this as an 8 year old I would've broken the laws of nature and immediately gone through puberty so I could cum in my pants. WOW!

James

Working My Way Back To You Babe

Dear Movies,
Please have someone make a Friday The 13th movie where Jason's limbs are scattered by the teens that defeat him. That way I can make a sequel to that movie where the parts come to life and start attacking people throughout the globe and the teens need to race around the Earth trying to find the pieces before they find each other and fuse back into a complete Jason. It'll be a kind of B-horror Da Vinci Code.

James

Boobies For The Win

Dear Movies,
Im just gonna leave this link here and let it speak for itself.
http://www.funimation.com/sekirei
James

Dear Movies,

This is the first convincing case I've seen to get me on board the Liam Neeson Train. I was never really impressed by him, for no good reason. But apparently he runs the world, and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em...

Love,

Brendan