Star Power Star Power Star Power Over Me

Dear Movies,
Tonight Im going to Prospect Park to watch Space: The Movie starring Everyone, with brand new original score by Sonic Youth. Should make for great theater. Goodnight Moon,

James

I Guess Youre Just What I Needed

Dear Movies,
I was channel surfing last night and hoping to find something good to watch. And then there you were.

James

YOU WANNA GET NUTS? LET'S GET NUTS!

Dear Movies,

Can we please get an auteur to resurrect Michael Keaton's career? Where Jim Jarmusch at?!

Love,
Brendan

Im The Guy Who Does His Job. You Must Be The Other Guy

Dear Movies,
Not sure if you watch that much TV but maybe youve noticed this little gem. His name is John Munch and he's a character played by Richard Belzer on MULTIPLE TV SHOWS! Thats right, Richard Belzer, no matter what drama, or on what network, always plays the same cop named John Munch. Not just in name but actually the same person from TV land. Munch is from Baltimore and was on Homicide: Life on the Street, but later retired and moved to New York and became a Sgt. on Law and Order. But hes also made cameos on Arrested Development, The Wire, and The X-Files.
Point is, I want to this happen more, with other actors and actresses. For instance, Mark Whalberg. He was great in Boogie Nights and I Heart Huckabees, but simply put, he killed it as Dignam in The Departed. So from now on, I want him to be that character is every other movie he plays. What do you think? "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe go fuck yourself."


“I’m gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don’t smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself.”
James

The Phantom Gourmet

Dear Movies,
Greenlight "The Haunted Entree" by James Beard. I will play myself. Its a redemption story about a hard working young man who works at a restaurant that has seen better days. The owner/head chef are close to foreclosing on the bistro when to make matters worse, he only has two employees and one of them suffers a tragic accident on the job and dies. Then this man comes back to haunt the place out of existence. But the ghost worker loves the female waitress that is still working there and she convinces him to help save the place instead. They rename the shop The Haunted Entree and tell everyone its haunted by the ghost of famous American chef James Beard but its actually just me bussing dishes invisibly now. But the people dont know that and the place becomes the hippest joint in town overnight. The End.
Terry O'Quinn will play the owner/head chef cause he needs to be in everything and Sydney Pottier will play the waitress cause I really want my CGI ghost to make out with her.

Order's up,
James

The Audacity of Hope

Dear Movies,
New favorite movie: Mr. Smits Goes to Washington. Yes We Can!

James

Private Screening

Dear Movies,
Sorry to hear no one else has been writing to you. Im not sure where everyone went. Did my friends die in a dream while still under sedation and are stuck in the limbo of their minds? Hope not. Im glad youre giving me all this attention, but Im willing to share. Oh well, I took myself on a movie date today. First time Id been to a movie alone in a while. I forgot how much I enjoy it. Especially with some movies where I dont want to talk to anyone for at least 30 min after I get out of the theater so I can gather my thoughts and just let the film sink in. In fact, I took the whole day to do that. Just sitting around reading online by myself with very little human interaction. It was a good day off. Now I sleep, perchance to dream?

James

Insertion

Dear Movies,
Tried to see Inception today at 2:45 by the park, but it was hot out so everyone went to the movies and it was SOLD OUT. There wasnt even a screening of Toy Story 3 anytime soon. You fucked me movies, you fucked me. Ill have to settle for reading this online prequel comic till later this week. God damned people,

James

p.s. Sitting in the woods of the park instead was really peaceful though.

Herky Jerky

Dear Movies,
Every movie needs to end with dancing. Now bust a move!

James

Best Tit[le] Sequence Ever!

Dear Movies,
Anti-gravity strip tease? Yep, thats the hottest thing Ive ever seen, and Ive looked at the Sun. Not able to stand up just yet,

James

Just Tell Him I Whispered Sweet Nothings Into Your Ear

After Clinton and the great depression caused by the United States of Europe (masterminded by the evil French), America was in rapid decline, borrowing money from Mexico and Colombia. The solution, as so often happened, came from Hollywood. Actor-director and film mogul Taran Tula became president. The nation's capitol was moved to tinsel town. The people had long ago lost their faith in politicians and religion but never in Hollywood. As in previous depressions, the movies always kept them going. Turning cinemas into Temples of Escapism from their misery was an easy and obvious step. And at the heart of every great American movie is the car chase and the gunfight. Taking the religion onto the streets, giving us the Death Race was the logical conclusion. People wanted to live Hollywood lives. Fantasy lives. (Tula) distilled from pictures the true soul of America. -Death Race 2020 #4

Dear Movies [a good friend of mine],
We didnt have this blog in April, but the 27th of that month was the 35 year anniversary of one of the best movies ever made; Death Race 2000. There are 8 issues of the comic book sequels and I want to see each one made by a succession of directors who are good at shooting car scenes but who are also the right kind of weird; Quentin Tarantino, Michael Bay, Rob Cohen, Paul Greengrass, Robert Rodriguez, James Cameron, Sam Raimi, and Spike Jonze. Check out the wikipedia page for descriptions of those stories.
Lets make this happen!

James

Wonder Wheadon

Dear Movies,

Castle is fine. Chuck is great. Mad Men is legendary.
Thing they have in common? People who were in Firefly/Serenity.
Obvious conclusion?
Make like nine more of those movies please.

Thanks bunches,
Lee Goffin-Bonenfant

P.S. Also Joss Whedon. OMG Joss Whedon. Let him write his own theme song again.

P.P.S. from James:
Why hasnt he already directed the Wonder Woman movie!?

Magic Dance

Dear Movies,
Make more movies about making movies. Behind the curtain is even more magical to watch than whats printed on the film. Thats also why I like science so much. Speaking of which, today, July 10th, is Nikola Tesla's birthday. He hated Edison more than anyone, even you. So,

Dear Movies,
Have David Bowie play Nikola Tesla again in the best biopic of all time. If you start to film it, the real Tesla will time travel to your set to play himself. Swear to god.

James

DDD

Dear Movies,
We just celebrated The Fourth of July so Ive got the red, white, and blue on the brain and I was thinking. My thought is that new 3D glasses are cool and all, and the new technology that makes them work is terrific. But I kind of miss the blue and red tinted glasses that gave me seizures when I played too many hours of Rad Racer. So I made a prototype design that can function like the new ones but with a homage to times past.


You can thank me by re-releasing Hubble 3D since I missed it when it first hit theaters and the trailer looked like the most spectacular thing my eyes could ever see. Youre welcome,

James

Fighting for Truth Justice and The American Way

Dear Movies,
Heres hoping enough people have seen your Easy Rider that I can ride around wearing that helmet today and get stopped by a block party and given a free hot dog or beer. Or both. Please both.

JameS A

This Just In...

Dear Movies,
Make an old school musical to fully showcase the numerous talents of Justin Timberlake, a true song and dance man who isnt afraid of the camera. I dont mean like High School Musical, or Moulin Rouge. I mean like An American in Paris. I want to see Another American in Paris. Or An American in Paris Too.

Thanks for listening,
James